Your January Horoscope! by Crystal “Kitty” Shimski

Transcribed by guest contributor Jennifer Coates /  Kitty divides her time between New York City and Montauk. She is a freelance Intuitive Technique Specialist and part-time Trance Inducer. She was recently certified in Trauma Re-alignment and holds a dual Associates Degree in Breath Dancing for Painters and Creative Shock Control from the Online Academy of Spiritual Transit. She is devoted to helping painters live out their truth on the surface of their choosing.

Capricorn 12/22-1/19
You will not be able to accomplish much on your agenda this month, no matter how hard you try to focus and re-focus your mind. That is because you are obsessed with your back fat. Your hands are not free for the arts, they are pinching folds of flesh and constantly poking your stomach to see if it really is bulging over your pants. I have news for you: it is. I saw this one coming months ago but was powerless to stop you from over-indulging at holiday time. Weight loss must be at the top of your list this month – for you, it is more important to look good than to paint. From January 12-February 19, you will have more power and influence in your immediate circle. Take time out to be slyly undermining of your friends’ when you visit their studios. This will buttress your failing ego during a period of creative fallowness.


Aquarius 1/20-2/18
This month will be a challenge for you. You and a friend are experiencing a special chemistry but it would be wise to keep things platonic. If you give in to your base desires, you will find only awkwardness and sadness. In terms of your painting practice, you are feeling a creeping sense of alienation. You are even tempted to burn your paintings and vacate your studio. Might I remind you that you suffer from S.A.D. and despite recent warm temperatures this is just not a good time of year for you. However, Mars, the planet of ambition and initiative, will enter your career sector on January 4. Expect a confusing surge of interest in your older work. Of course, you would prefer people to be interested in your more recent paintings, but they just aren’t. Good luck!

Pisces 2/19-3/20
The future you envision is simply not going to come to pass. You may feel excitement at all the potential in the air, but it will lead nowhere, unless you change your ways! I have news for you: you are still you. You must learn to stop getting in your own way, in life and on canvas. Your habit is to undermine yourself by muddying your colors, and soiling your friendships with too much YOU. Stop, listen and take a moment to breathe, take in what’s around you, before you act. You are so caught up in your own theater of pain that you fail to see what is actually happening. This month would be a great time to take stock and be honest with yourself about your failings. Make more time to be in the studio and channel your self-hate into masterpieces of our time. And make the switch to acrylics, no matter what your friends say! You can do it!

Aries 3/21-4/19
Your brain is a twisted mess this month. While that is murder on your relationships, it is a real plus in the studio. Expect to burrow into the core of truth and consciousness and emerge with exciting new artworks that merge poetry, wit, intelligence and feeling. You will benefit from the renewed interest in figurative art and receive many opportunities to show your work, however you will not be satisfied or happy, much to the confusion of those closest to you. In other news, your dentist may suggest nighttime headgear to stop your teeth grinding; you may require minor surgery in your plumbing area; you become allergic to soy and corn; and your pet and/or child develop chronic flatulence. Try to be in the studio as much as possible, not thinking about the physical world, thinking only about the most deeply profound things, and you will be ok.

Taurus 4/20-5/20
I urge you to stop avoiding the reality of your finances. They are in disarray to say the least. You will be evicted from your home and/or studio if you continue on this path of unknowing. Mercury will be in retrograde from January 5-25, so expect things to be rocky. In terms of your artwork, you begin to take your drawing practice more seriously and see it as a way to invigorate your stale, dry approach to painting. Perhaps you are a minimalist – stop that right now! Minimalism has no place in this artworld moment. It only makes people feel chilly and sad. In other news, expect heartwarming developments on the domestic front towards the end of the month. Something like: your spouse does the dishes, your child says thank you, your neighbor says hello. It will feel like a true blessing!

Gemini 5/21-6/20
Here’s what needs to happen. Get back in the studio you lazy bum! Stop making excuses. Your posture is starting to look normal again – you need to remember what it’s like to slouch in your chair, hunching with brush in hand, attending to details no one will ever notice. That is the work of a true hero. In order to get yourself excited about the solitary life of a painter, load up on snacks and podcasts and resume your habit of talking to yourself. Your finances may be in ruin due to a recent large expenditure, but things will brighten up by the end of the month. If you are dogged in your approach to art and life, you will make small gains that may add up to a medium size gain in about five years time. It’s all good! Even when you can’t get out of bed.

Cancer 6/21-7/22
You thought things were getting better. You had a big show or two, but you don’t feel any different. Also, alarmingly, your body can no longer tolerate alcohol the way it used to, so it appears you have no comfort to turn to anymore. The good news is: it’s your chance to finally deal with the reality of you! The same you that everyone else has had to put up with all along. If you focus intensely on your work and accepting the unpleasant realities of your existential predicament, you may be capable of making some decent paintings by the spring. The important thing is to stop focusing on what you don’t have, stop looking outside yourself for solace. If you can accept things as they are, you will have a much needed breakthrough as a person and as a painter. One more word of wisdom: wash your brushes once in a while. You will be amazed at the difference it can make!

Leo 7/23-8/22
January is a pivotal turning point for you. It’s time to make a change or several in your life and your work! You can thank a Full Moon in your sign on January 23 for your blossoming awareness that change needs to happen. But first, expect inner resistance and difficulty, stomach aches, nausea and anxiety. You will be offered unexpected exhibition opportunities this month but they will not create the momentum in your career you have so long been pining for. You may realize you need some spontaneity in your painting practice. Change it up! How about watercolors? How about a bigger brush once in a while? Why are you so rigid? These are questions you need to ask yourself. Push yourself to do better. No one else will: you have terrorized them into telling you what you want to hear. Smarten up!

Virgo 8/23-9/22
We are hardly into the new year but already it feels like 2016 is playing a nasty trick on you! Your myriad “issues” are coming back to haunt you. Your finances are a disaster, you are gaining weight again, your sense of self is in tatters. You are a harbinger of conflict and doom for everyone around you. Don’t worry though! This is very temporary. By the end of the month, after Mercury has done its damage, you will be back in the swing of things, having dealt with the worst head on. Then it will be time to get back into the pressing and profound questions concerning your art. As the civilization collapses in less privileged parts of the world, you are free to ask yourself: do I use too much purple? Am I being too sentimental? How can I incorporate my interest in sex without seeming like a pervert? These are the things that matter!

Libra 9/22-10/23
First of all, please talk less at openings and dinner parties. You are painful to behold, you are the one who makes people feel trapped with your “ideas” and “feelings.” Second, keep going with this new body of work. While it seems that the only people who are interested are your friends, and you don’t trust them, you are really onto something. When I close my eyes I can see a well-dressed woman arriving at your studio, many many dollar signs and a review in a widely distributed publication. I really don’t very often get such specific visions but for you Libra, yes, I do believe this is your time. 2016 is the year you really get it together socially, just in time for long awaited success to come knocking on your door. If I were you, I would purchase some more attractive outfits in the meantime, so you are READY when winning comes your way.

Scorpio 10/23-11/21
It pains me to say this Scorpio, but you are getting less likeable as the years pass. While you may think this doesn’t matter, that it’s all about “the work,” this simply isn’t the case. The tension you cultivate around you has clouded people’s judgment about your paintings. They can’t look at your canvases without their stomach turning into knots, their anuses twitching. You need to work on your personality, turn inward to find a sense of equilibrium. Stop thinking you deserve this or that. You don’t! You need to accept your career for what it is right now. Maybe just get that teaching job and stop expecting people to buy your art for a while. The times will tune in with you again in 4-6 years. But until then, it is what it is. Perhaps invest in a life coach? That might speed things up for you. Or call me for a more personalized plan of self-improvement, my rates are reasonable this time of year.

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21
It’s time to recharge your spiritual and creative batteries! You know I don’t normally advise this for you delicate artists, but I think you should go to museums and galleries and see some art. Painting has become somewhat boring for you lately and it’s a great idea to get out there and remind yourself why you care about making things that few people can afford. Try to stay on the positive side of things: even though you aren’t having a show right now, you may actually find some work that inspires you to be more ambitious in the studio. Time to splurge on 8 foot canvases! Just go into debt, it will be totally worth it as this may be your last chance before the global warming apocalypse to really throw yourself into a large scale painting. Art supplies as we know them may not always be available, so take this opportunity to revel in the availability of paint, brushes and supports while you still can.

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 Two Coats of Paint is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution – Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. To use content beyond the scope of this license, permission is required.

Two Coats of Paint is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution – Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. To use content beyond the scope of this license, permission is required.

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