October 17, 2013

Search of the Day: Ted Cruz + painting

We can all heave a sigh of relief that the insane Ted Cruz strategy precipitating the government shutdown and a near economic collapse is finally over. I had forgotten that back in July Stephen Colbert took a swipe at the hilarious portrait hanging in the delusional senator's office. Standing on the floor of the Senate, engaging in a filibuster, Cruz strikes a Christ-like pose complete with halo and apostles. Here's an excerpt from The Colbert Report transcript. Check out the full video posted below.

Yes, I gotta tell ya, I don't know what part of this painting comes off as more humble.
Is it the hint of halo surrounding his head, or is it look toward heaven, or is it all the people in this painting of him who are painting more paintings of him? (audience laughter and applause)

In fact, Ted Cruz is so humble, he doesn't even mention what noble cause he championed before the Supreme Court that day. This modest hero argued that Texas should be allowed to "back out of a legal settlement in which it had vowed to improve health care services for poor children."

(audience boos)

You know what? No wonder he looks so Christ-like in that painting. I mean, we all remember the story of Jesus promising to multiply loaves and fishes for the poor, then backing out of it on legal grounds. I mean, all that raw fish sitting out in the desert sun? I mean, sashimi and Israel? Come on, that's just a food poisoning lawsuit waiting to happen.




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